What’s Wrong with this Picture?
I started my day with a blinding headache. It radiated down my neck and into my spine. I curled up in bed not wanting to move. The thought that I’d be losing time because of something so random infuriated me. The sun streamed through the window telling me to get a move on. I was due at Help the Children at 8:00 am. HTC depends on me to sort food on Thursdays, yet I knew that wasn’t going to happen today. I didn’t even think I’d make it downstairs to grab my blood pressure medicine and a cup of coffee. I did. I even sent off a text to say I was going back to bed. Three hours later I logged on to my email, checked a few posts on FB and tried to work through the lingering migraine and all its associated symptoms.
In the midst of it all there was a quiet post from a friend about the criticism she was receiving over her new pregnancy. She had announced the news that she and her partner were expecting a few days ago. It is the first baby for them and the fifth for her. Now I believe every child is a gift from God and I know perfectly well that not every child is wanted, nor is every parent good and loving. This woman on the other hand is both good, loving and the baby is welcomed!!! Furthermore, she is a dedicated mom to her little ones.
I was indignant. Why would anyone think they have a right to criticize anyone else over something as personal as having a baby? I became consumed with outrage and it got me out of my headache just long enough to formulate some thoughts and write this.
Why do people attack others?
From brief reads this morning, the consensus seems to be that the people who criticize are motivated by fear. It’s really about them, not you. There is something lacking in their lives already and they feel threatened by, in my friend’s case, her happiness. Perhaps they can’t relate to being a joyful, competent mom of five kids because they are neither happy nor competent in parenting one or two. They project their own struggles on to her. “I can’t do it, so you’re going to be even worse off.” Or they may feel out of control in their lives and they allow emotions to rule over their actions. One final reason might arise out of jealousy. If they suffer from low self-esteem they are constantly competing and comparing themselves with others to try to feel good about themselves.
So while these reasons don’t stop people from acting out in their “brokenness,” I do hope it will help my friend understand that people are imperfect beings. We are all in different stages of healing from life’s traumas. I say to my friend, please don’t let other’s negativity steal from your happiness. Their criticism speaks of their own pain about their path in life. Embrace your life and the gifts given to you and don’t look back.
Love and Light,
Sheree
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